NA's Profile »
DISCLAIMER: I am well aware that Dodge
Girl has posted similar SW Millionaire blogs on her page. And, that others (who shall remain nameless) have made half-hearted efforts of their own to copy her. However, after reading Dodge Girls efforts, I was inspired to try my own
hand at something similar. I have her full support on this project, and for that I am very thankful. All characters, places, events, etc. are not taken from a specific time period, rather they are used generally in an effort to provide a remotely entertaining story. Remember, this is just for poodoo-and-giggles. Try to have fun with it. Thank you!
LUKE SKYWALKER: Welcome again to another episode of "Are You Smarter Than a Gungan." I'm your host, Luke Skywalker. Today, our class once again consists of Captain Tarpals...Spleed Nukkels...Jar Jar Binks...Friggy Squig and Boss Nass.
(Audience applauds as each gungan smiles and waves politely.)
LUKE: I think I speak for us all when I say I'm pleased to see all of our classmates are healed form the last couple weeks...umm...incidents.
JAR JAR BINKS: Mesa too, Masa Skyhopper. Mesa haten crunchin...dats the last ting mesa wants.
LUKE: (rolls eyes) Very good Jar Jar. Now, let's meet today's contestant. Very generously taking time out from his busy schedule to join us is Administrator Lando Calrissian from Cloud City!
(The audience applauds loudly, particularly the female beings, for the famous playboy. However, as the applause goes on, no contestant comes on stage. Luke, confused, looks towards the judges who do nothing but shrug their shoulders. No one knows where Lando is.)
SPLEED NUKKELS: Ah...Masa Skyhopper, sa. Is dat mista Lando over dare?
(Pointing to the front corner of the audience, Spleed points out Lando, who is leaning over, talking to a light-blue skinned Twi'lek female in the first row.)
LANDO CALRISSIAN: (with a suave smile and seductive voice, to the Twi'lek girl, he gently takes her hand into his) That's right. Admistrator. I can do pretty much anything I want on Cloud City. You should see the sunsets there. The only thing that rivals their beauty is yours.
(Lando gently places a kiss on the Twi'lek's hand, drawing giggles from the flattered female.)
LUKE: Ahem! Lando. Please. Can we get on with this?
LANDO: (places a small piece of flimsi in the girls hand) Here's my comlink number. Think it over.
(Lando kisses her hand again, stands gracefully, bows respectfully, and glides towards that stage, to much applause.)
LANDO: (winking as he passes Luke on stage) Sorry, Master Skywalker. But, you know, business is business.
LUKE: Well, I'm sorry to interupt you and your..."business"...contacts. Now, if we can continue. Have you chosen a classamte today?
LANDO: (glancing over the gungans, and throwing a fetching smile towards one) Oh, I think I'll take that fine, fine looking gungan over there.
(Lando very seductively points in the direction of Friggy Squig.)
FRIGGY SQUIG: (casting glances at the other gungans around him) Whosa? Mesa?
LANDO: (gliding across the stage to offer Friggy his arm and a charming smile) Oh yeah. Would you do me the honor of assisting me this fine evening?
FRIGGY: (nervously) Oh...ah...oky doky.
(Lando, with Friggy in hand, glides back towards their podiums. Lando sees Friggy to his podium, winks, and takes his place behind his own.)
LUKE: (pulling Lando close and whispering) Uh, Lando. I think you may be confused. You see, Friggy is a...
LANDO: (whispering back) Luke, I gotta get me some of that. You know what I'm talking about, right? Me and that fine, fine looking gungan are going to get "friggy," if you know what I mean.
(Lando playfully punches Luke in the arm and winks once more.)
LUKE: (smirking) Umm...well...okay. Let's begin then, shall we. Now, Lando, for 1,000 Credits: the diminuative, furry natives of the forrest moon of Endor are called, what?
LANDO: (distracted, because he was seductively gazing into Friggy's eyes) Huh? Oh...well...Luke I'd like to use a "cheat" if I could. I think I'll (lifting an eyebrow) "peek" at Friggy's answer. (He throws a suave glance towards Friggy.) And, I'd like to "peek" at other things, too.
LUKE: Very well. Friggy, do you know what the native on Endor are called?
FRIGGY: Ah...mesa ansa is Ewoks, Masa Skyhopper.
LUKE: Lando, would you like to use Friggy's answer, or answer on your own?
LANDO: Luke, I trust this sweet, sweet gungan. So, my answer is Ewoks.
LUKE: That is correct!
(The audience politely applauds, as Lando has won 1,000 Credits.)
LUKE: Now, Lando, for 2,000 Credits: Emperor Palpatine began his political career as a Senator from what planet?
LANDO: Luke...who cares. I've got a 1,000 Credits and a fine looking gungan here. Friggy, how would you like to have a very quiet and romatic dinner with me? I know this great place...
FRIGGY: Ah, mista Lando, sa. Mesa tinks yousa has da wrong idea. My not a girl. Mesa a boyo!
(The audience let's out a gasp, as they anticipated this revelation.)
LANDO: (quickly standing upright, and beginning to sweat) What!? You're not a female!? You're kidding!?
(The audience erupts into laughter!)
LUKE: Ah, Lando, that's what I was trying to tell you. Friggy is a male gungan. In fact, all of our classmates are males.
LANDO: (startled, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open) You must be joking Luke!?
LUKE: (chuckles) I'm afraid I'm not joking Lando. But, look on the bright side. Here is your 1,000 Credits you've won.
(Luke has to almost force the Credit chips into Lando's hand, as the playboy was standing there frozen, wide-eyed and gaping.)
LUKE: Lando? Lando? Are you alright?
(There's no response from Lando, who's still in terrible shock of his near mistake. Luke, again smirking, waves his hand and uses the Force to gently nudge his friend, bringing Lando back to reality.)
LANDO: Oh...ah...thank you Luke. (Turning to leave) Well, I guess it's pretty obvious, I am NOT smarter than a gungan.
(Lando makes his way off stage and towards the blue-skinned Twi'lek.)
LANDO: (back on his game) Well, Cupcake, how would you like to escort me to...
(Lando is unable to finish his sentence because, seemingly out of nowhere, the Twi'lek female lands a ferocious sucker-punch to the side of Lando's face, causing him to lose his balance and fall into the lap of another audience member...a bright pink-skinned Zeltron female.)
TWI'LEK FEMALE: (angrily stalking away) Forget it! You men are all the same!
LANDO: (already forgetting about the Twi'lek, and gazing into the eyes of the Zeltron) Hello, what have we here?
ZELTRON FEMALE: (running her hand through Lando's hair, and in a very seductive voice) Well, hello there, big-boy.
(Rubbing his chin, Lando and the Zeltron make their way out, as the camera again focuses in on Luke.)
LUKE: Well, thank you for tuning into yet another exciting episode of "Are You Smarter Than a Gungan." Sadly, that's three episodes in a row where someone has gotten hurt.
FRIGGY: Mesa know, Masa Skyhopper. Mesa neva been havin mesa sexuality queshuned like dat before! Dat hurts!
(Luke, again rolling his eyes, slaps his forehead and waves his hand at the camera. Static...)
(P.S. - I hope everyone has a great Christmas and New Year's! I hope you're all able to get some cool Star Wars related gifts to add to your collections! Here's hoping I do, too! ;) Later!)
"ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A GUNGAN", EPISODE 3
DISCLAIMER: I am well aware that Dodge
Girl has posted similar SW Millionaire blogs on her page. And, that others (who shall remain nameless) have made half-hearted efforts of their own to copy her. However, after reading Dodge Girls efforts, I was inspired to try my own
hand at something similar. I have her full support on this project, and for that I am very thankful. All characters, places, events, etc. are not taken from a specific time period, rather they are used generally in an effort to provide a remotely entertaining story. Remember, this is just for poodoo-and-giggles. Try to have fun with it. Thank you!
LUKE SKYWALKER: Welcome again to another episode of "Are You Smarter Than a Gungan." I'm your host, Luke Skywalker. Today, our class once again consists of Captain Tarpals...Spleed Nukkels...Jar Jar Binks...Friggy Squig and Boss Nass.
(Audience applauds as each gungan smiles and waves politely.)
LUKE: I think I speak for us all when I say I'm pleased to see all of our classmates are healed form the last couple weeks...umm...incidents.
JAR JAR BINKS: Mesa too, Masa Skyhopper. Mesa haten crunchin...dats the last ting mesa wants.
LUKE: (rolls eyes) Very good Jar Jar. Now, let's meet today's contestant. Very generously taking time out from his busy schedule to join us is Administrator Lando Calrissian from Cloud City!
(The audience applauds loudly, particularly the female beings, for the famous playboy. However, as the applause goes on, no contestant comes on stage. Luke, confused, looks towards the judges who do nothing but shrug their shoulders. No one knows where Lando is.)
SPLEED NUKKELS: Ah...Masa Skyhopper, sa. Is dat mista Lando over dare?
(Pointing to the front corner of the audience, Spleed points out Lando, who is leaning over, talking to a light-blue skinned Twi'lek female in the first row.)
LANDO CALRISSIAN: (with a suave smile and seductive voice, to the Twi'lek girl, he gently takes her hand into his) That's right. Admistrator. I can do pretty much anything I want on Cloud City. You should see the sunsets there. The only thing that rivals their beauty is yours.
(Lando gently places a kiss on the Twi'lek's hand, drawing giggles from the flattered female.)
LUKE: Ahem! Lando. Please. Can we get on with this?
LANDO: (places a small piece of flimsi in the girls hand) Here's my comlink number. Think it over.
(Lando kisses her hand again, stands gracefully, bows respectfully, and glides towards that stage, to much applause.)
LANDO: (winking as he passes Luke on stage) Sorry, Master Skywalker. But, you know, business is business.
LUKE: Well, I'm sorry to interupt you and your..."business"...contacts. Now, if we can continue. Have you chosen a classamte today?
LANDO: (glancing over the gungans, and throwing a fetching smile towards one) Oh, I think I'll take that fine, fine looking gungan over there.
(Lando very seductively points in the direction of Friggy Squig.)
FRIGGY SQUIG: (casting glances at the other gungans around him) Whosa? Mesa?
LANDO: (gliding across the stage to offer Friggy his arm and a charming smile) Oh yeah. Would you do me the honor of assisting me this fine evening?
FRIGGY: (nervously) Oh...ah...oky doky.
(Lando, with Friggy in hand, glides back towards their podiums. Lando sees Friggy to his podium, winks, and takes his place behind his own.)
LUKE: (pulling Lando close and whispering) Uh, Lando. I think you may be confused. You see, Friggy is a...
LANDO: (whispering back) Luke, I gotta get me some of that. You know what I'm talking about, right? Me and that fine, fine looking gungan are going to get "friggy," if you know what I mean.
(Lando playfully punches Luke in the arm and winks once more.)
LUKE: (smirking) Umm...well...okay. Let's begin then, shall we. Now, Lando, for 1,000 Credits: the diminuative, furry natives of the forrest moon of Endor are called, what?
LANDO: (distracted, because he was seductively gazing into Friggy's eyes) Huh? Oh...well...Luke I'd like to use a "cheat" if I could. I think I'll (lifting an eyebrow) "peek" at Friggy's answer. (He throws a suave glance towards Friggy.) And, I'd like to "peek" at other things, too.
LUKE: Very well. Friggy, do you know what the native on Endor are called?
FRIGGY: Ah...mesa ansa is Ewoks, Masa Skyhopper.
LUKE: Lando, would you like to use Friggy's answer, or answer on your own?
LANDO: Luke, I trust this sweet, sweet gungan. So, my answer is Ewoks.
LUKE: That is correct!
(The audience politely applauds, as Lando has won 1,000 Credits.)
LUKE: Now, Lando, for 2,000 Credits: Emperor Palpatine began his political career as a Senator from what planet?
LANDO: Luke...who cares. I've got a 1,000 Credits and a fine looking gungan here. Friggy, how would you like to have a very quiet and romatic dinner with me? I know this great place...
FRIGGY: Ah, mista Lando, sa. Mesa tinks yousa has da wrong idea. My not a girl. Mesa a boyo!
(The audience let's out a gasp, as they anticipated this revelation.)
LANDO: (quickly standing upright, and beginning to sweat) What!? You're not a female!? You're kidding!?
(The audience erupts into laughter!)
LUKE: Ah, Lando, that's what I was trying to tell you. Friggy is a male gungan. In fact, all of our classmates are males.
LANDO: (startled, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open) You must be joking Luke!?
LUKE: (chuckles) I'm afraid I'm not joking Lando. But, look on the bright side. Here is your 1,000 Credits you've won.
(Luke has to almost force the Credit chips into Lando's hand, as the playboy was standing there frozen, wide-eyed and gaping.)
LUKE: Lando? Lando? Are you alright?
(There's no response from Lando, who's still in terrible shock of his near mistake. Luke, again smirking, waves his hand and uses the Force to gently nudge his friend, bringing Lando back to reality.)
LANDO: Oh...ah...thank you Luke. (Turning to leave) Well, I guess it's pretty obvious, I am NOT smarter than a gungan.
(Lando makes his way off stage and towards the blue-skinned Twi'lek.)
LANDO: (back on his game) Well, Cupcake, how would you like to escort me to...
(Lando is unable to finish his sentence because, seemingly out of nowhere, the Twi'lek female lands a ferocious sucker-punch to the side of Lando's face, causing him to lose his balance and fall into the lap of another audience member...a bright pink-skinned Zeltron female.)
TWI'LEK FEMALE: (angrily stalking away) Forget it! You men are all the same!
LANDO: (already forgetting about the Twi'lek, and gazing into the eyes of the Zeltron) Hello, what have we here?
ZELTRON FEMALE: (running her hand through Lando's hair, and in a very seductive voice) Well, hello there, big-boy.
(Rubbing his chin, Lando and the Zeltron make their way out, as the camera again focuses in on Luke.)
LUKE: Well, thank you for tuning into yet another exciting episode of "Are You Smarter Than a Gungan." Sadly, that's three episodes in a row where someone has gotten hurt.
FRIGGY: Mesa know, Masa Skyhopper. Mesa neva been havin mesa sexuality queshuned like dat before! Dat hurts!
(Luke, again rolling his eyes, slaps his forehead and waves his hand at the camera. Static...)
(P.S. - I hope everyone has a great Christmas and New Year's! I hope you're all able to get some cool Star Wars related gifts to add to your collections! Here's hoping I do, too! ;) Later!)
Comments
- Mara Dodge Skywalker:D Thanks for cheering me up and for throwing that wonderful nickname in there! :P Jessica Simpson better hope she doesn't run into me tonight. GRRR!posted Dec 16, 2007 5:35 PM | Report Abuse
Help us improve The World of Star Wars.